On the Subject of Air Strikes

121.80.132.119

Someone is disagreeing with you on the Internet! To solve the module, call an air strike on their house.

Section 1 — Starting Location

You have your target’s address narrowed down to 16 neighborhoods. The missile starts aimed at a random neighborhood in that area, which varies from module to module.

Simonsborough	Cycle Hills	Brush Oaks	Mystic Square
Talkington	Blind Valley	Digit Springs	Fort Tean
Question Park	Flashing Heights	Alarmburg	English Crest
Sueet Falls	Match Acres	Black Knoll	Passwood

When determining what neighborhood to aim at, the targeting system runs a simulation of a series of air strikes. In the table below, each cell whose condition is true will get hit by a missile. When the missile explodes, it hits the cell where it landed, and every cell in its row and column. Once the simulation is complete, there will be exactly one cell that was not hit by any explosions. The location of that cell is where the missile will be aimed when the module initializes.

Note: If you forget where you are, you can click on the message screen to return to the starting location.

Arrows are blue or red	Hours on timestamp is 6 or less	Minutes on timestamp is even	Arrows are blue or yellow
Buttons are triangles	Target’s username* is 10+ characters long	Timestamp says “PM”, not “AM”	Border of crosshair display is black
Status light is on the top half	Crosshair is yellow or purple	Clicking the message screen makes a sound	Target’s username* contains an E
Crosshair is red or purple	Border of message display is black	Message is above the crosshair	Status light is on the right half

Section 2 — Target Location

Next, you need to aim the missile at your target. The arrows on the module will move your crosshair in their respective directions, and if you go off of the 4×4 grid, you will loop around to the other side.

To determine which neighborhood to launch the missile at, look at the message your target sent*. Depending on the topic and the stance they took, you can determine where they live. Use the “For” column if their message is in favor of the topic, or the “Against” column if their message goes against the topic.

Submit the module by pressing the crosshair screen.

Topic	For	Against
Dogs are better than cats	Talkington	Blind Valley
You have UNO on your Xbox	English Crest	Passwood
Pluto should be considered a planet	Sueet Falls	Talkington
Cereal goes in the bowl before milk	Alarmburg	Fort Tean
The week starts on Sunday, not Monday	Digit Springs	Black Knoll
Alphabetical order should ignore “The”	Mystic Square	Brush Oaks
All odd numbers have an E in them	Match Acres	Flashing Heights
Pineapple is a good pizza topping	Cycle Hills	English Crest
Soup is a drink	Fort Tean	Sueet Falls
Santa Claus is real	Brush Oaks	Match Acres
People should not wear socks with sandals	Black Knoll	Mystic Square
“Air Strikes” should win Round 2 of KWSNE	Simonsborough	Cycle Hills
Coca-Cola is better than Pepsi	Passwood	Alarmburg
Hot dogs are a kind of sandwich	Blind Valley	Simonsborough
The chicken came before the egg	Flashing Heights	Question Park
Summer is better than winter	Question Park	Digit Springs

* All possible encounterable targets and their messages can be found in Appendix OPINIONS on the next pages.

Appendix OPINIONS

All targets’ usernames you may encounter

	Username contains an E	Username does not contain an E
Username is 10+ characters long	BlvdBroken Crazycaleb Heres_Fangy Quinn Wuest redpenguiin	a_galvantula ghostsalt12
Username is less than 10 characters long	Axodeau Nshep Willeh meh Usernam3	1254 Ghastly Konoko Procyon vitzlo

In the tables below, underlined quotes have similar-sounding “For”/“Against” counterparts.

	Topic: Dogs are better than cats
For	Dogs are superior to cats, simply because they are not cats.
	Cats are spawns of hell.
	Dogs love you unconditionally. Cats would kill you and take your house.
Against	Dogs are inferior to cats, simply because they are dogs.
	Cats are clearly better than dogs, just like how catgirls are better than doggirls.
	Cats are better than dogs. I prefer my toddlers unbitten.

	Topic: You have UNO on your Xbox
For	You have UNO on your Xbox!
	Look, I can see RIGHT THERE in your Xbox library that you have UNO.
	Why play DOS on your XCUBE when you can play UNO on your XBOX?
Against	Who the hell has an Xbox that comes with Uno? Mine didn’t.
	I own Xbox and I can confirm Uno is not on Xbox.

	Topic: Pluto should be considered a planet
For	It’s big, it’s round, so Pluto’s a planet.
	Pluto go spin around big yellow star, this means Pluto be planet.
Against	Pluto has no right to be considered a planet. It’s too tiny.
	People. Pluto is a DWARF PLANET. Not a real one.
	I trust the real science and it says that Pluto isn’t real (planet), therefore it shouldn’t be real (planet).
	If Pluto’s a planet, what’s the limit? It’s taking a bullet for science.
	Pluto is TOO SMALL to be a planet, just like your BRAIN is TOO SMALL to be in your HEAD.

	Topic: Cereal goes in the bowl before milk
For	Milk first leads to an uncomfortable mix of dry and wet cereal. Let the wetness equalize.
	You absolute cretins. Who adds milk before cereal?
	Cereal tastes better than milk, therefore cereal goes in before the milk.
Against	Soggy cereal is the best cereal, and it’s soggier with milk before cereal.

	Topic: The week starts on Sunday, not Monday
For	C# says that Sunday is the first day of the week, so that’s what it is.
	The first part of the day is the sun. The first part of the week is the Sunday.
	First day of the week is absolutely Sunday. Did you think they made it up for calendar sales or something?
	Last time I checked my calendar, Sunday was in the first column. Let that sink in.
Against	The weekEND includes Sunday. Checkmate.
	In chinese monday is roughly translated as “the first day of the week” so y’all are wrong.
	It’s called the weekEND for a reason, not the weekBEGINNING.

	Topic: Alphabetical order should ignore “The”
For	Of course you ignore “The” with alphabetical ordering. Who doesn’t?
Against	The module is called “The Cube”, not “Cube, The”. Why would you ignore the “The”?
	You must include “The” when sorting alphabetically! “The” is a word in the English language! Why would you ever ignore words?

	Topic: All odd numbers have an E in them
For	One. Three. Five. Nine. All other odd numbers are variants of these, and they all have E.
	One has an E. Three has an E. That’s all the odd numbers! They all have E!
	The letter E is the most common letter in the language, included in all odd numbers.
	How did you pass First Grade without knowing how to spell numbers properly? OnE, thrEE, fivE, sEvEn, ninE, the end.
Against	Come on, there’s gotta be an odd number out there without an E in it!

	Topic: Pineapple is a good pizza topping
For	I just like pineapple, okay? Is that a bad thing to you? Really?
	My friend is Italian and they approved pineapple on pizza. Argument closed.
	Pineapple pizza is actually pretty good!
Against	WHAT MONSTER CREATED PINEAPPLE PIZZA??
	My Italian friend does not approve pineapple on pizza therefore it is bad.
	Nobody wants a pineapple-only pizza. Pineapple can die.

	Topic: Soup is a drink
For	If it’s socially acceptable to pick up a bowl of soup and drink from it, then I claim that soup is a drink.
	What do you do with the last bit of soup in the bowl? That’s right, you DRINK it.
	If it’s a liquid, it’s a drink. Soup is definitely a liquid and therefore a drink.
Against	Drinks can be drunk with straws, and drinking soup with a straw is wrong. Ergo, not a drink.
	If I ask for a drink and you hand me soup, you deserve the electric chair.
	Soup is usually salty in flavour, and drinks are flavoured anything but salty, so idk how soup can be a drink.
	Have you ever seen soup come in a cup? No? Of course not. Because soup is not a drink.

	Topic: Santa Claus is real
For	Guys, Santa is real. I just saw him at the mall recently!
	If Santa’s not real, then who’s giving me all the gifts? A burglar?
	If Santa Claus didn’t exist, then why is there a Wikipedia article about him?
	Of course Santa is real! Who else is that flying in the sky with those weird horses? Jesus? George Washington? My dad?
	If you seriously think that Santa is real then yes you are absolutely correct.
	As a Santa believer, he’s real. He ate the cookies I gave him last year!
Against	If you seriously think santa is real then you need a reality check.
	Santa can’t be real. Ghosts are, but Santa? No way.

	Topic: People should not wear socks with sandals
For	Sandy socks will be a long day.
	Socks and sandals has to be the most uncomfortable thing ever. Just go barefoot.
Against	I still don’t get the hate for socks with sandals. It’s quite comfortable, imo.

	Topic: “Air Strikes” should win Round 2 of KWSNE
For	Air Strikes is the only manual I read from Round 2 of KWSNE. Therefore it is the best one and must win.
	A message to those who thinks Air Strikes shouldn’t win round 2 of KWSNE: You guys are just wrong.
Against	Air Strikes is the only manual I read from Round 2 of KWSNE. Therefore it is the worst one and must not win.
	This manual sucks, it wouldn’t even win a consolation prize let alone Round 2.
	Picketing was so much better than Air Strikes. That should win instead.

	Topic: Coca-Cola is better than Pepsi
For	Pepsi? PEPSI?? You lunatic. You buffoon. How do you prefer Pepsi over Coca-Cola??
	Pepsi takes like nothing. Why would I take that over Coke?
Against	Did you just try to tell me that Coca-Cola is better than Pepsi? Deadass??
	Coca-Cola comes in a red can. Red is a bad color. Pepsi comes in a blue can. Blue is a good color. Drink Pepsi, kids.

	Topic: Hot dogs are a kind of sandwich
For	Well, if you think about it, hot dogs are kind of sandwiches. Just... kind of.
Against	No. No no no no no. Hot dogs are far from sandwiches. Very, very far.
	Nah, hot dogs are tacos. Fight me.

	Topic: The chicken came before the egg
For	Stupid. How did we get the egg before the chicken? We got the chicken first.
	Well, of course the chicken came before the egg. The egg can’t raise itself...
Against	If I understand correctly, eggs have been around way longer than chickens.
	You never said "chicken" eggs, did you? Dinosaurs laid eggs way before chickens existed.
	All chickens come from eggs, even the first one. The egg must have come before the chicken!
	The egg mentioned in the problem didn’t specify that it was a *chicken* egg now did it? Therefore, the egg came first.

	Topic: Summer is better than winter
For	Winter is better than summer? Okay. Have fun freezing to death.
	There’s school in winter. Bad. There’s no school in summer. Good.
	Longer break in summer gives me more time for projects. Approved.
Against	Winter allows me to stay inside and avoid talking to people. I hate trying to appear civilized. Let me play with my dollhouse!
	I get to throw snowballs at people during winter! Why wouldn’t I love winter?
	Hoodies are so much more cozier to wear than barely anything. Winter is for me.