On the Subject of Algebra

“Why do we need to study algebra? We'll never use it in real life...” Anybody else remember saying that?

x = n y = ip z = m + t × d
n = sum of digits in the serial number i = number of indicators
p = number of ports
m = number of modules
t = number of AA batteries
d = number of D batteries
3 or more battery holders present? +2 2 or fewer battery holders present? −2 No battery holders present? +3
RJ-45 port present? −1 Serial port present? +3 Parallel port present? −6
Lit BOB indicator present? +4 Unlit FRQ indicator present? −5 Lit MSA indicator present? +2
Serial number contains a vowel? −3 Sum of the serial number digits is prime? +4 Sum of the serial number digits is divisible by 3? +1