On the Subject of Baby Who’s on First

Experience all the joys of parenthood, such as chronic stress, insomnia, and postpartum depression.

  1. Read the display and use step 1 to determine which button label to read.
  2. Using this button label, use step 2 to determine which sequence of buttons to push.
  3. Repeat until the module has been disarmed.

Step 1:

Based on the display, read the label of a particular button and proceed to step 2:

GOO
GAA
GO
GAH
GEW
GLA
BLA
BAH
BLUE
BLAH
MA
DA
GA
GEU
GLUE
MAH
WAH
WAAA
YA
YAH
DAH
GAGA
BLABLA
WA
NYOOM
PEEK
A
BOO
BLU
CLUE
UAH
UAAA
TWA
AAHH
LWA
MAMA
DADA
PAPA
GOOG
GOOGLE

Step 2:

Using the label from step 1, read the sequence of instructions below and, using the guide below, push all corresponding buttons until the end of the sequence.

"GOO": C, D, C, B, G, M, L, D, F, A, L, M, B, A, D, A, C, H, M, A, D, E, H, A
"GAA": B, D, A, L, E, D, D, A, L, B, A, L, B, C, L, M, M, L, C, H, A, E, M, B
"BLA": F, B, G, F, C, C, M, C, B, H, G, A, H, E, M, M, H, G, E, M, L, B, A, B
"BLUE": B, D, D, B, C, G, A, C, M, A, M, G, A, B, D, A, A, A, I, B, H, E, D, B
"GOOG": C, B, M, D, B, M, B, B, D, E, H, A, C, L, L, B, M, B, M, L, D, A, G, D
"WAAA": D, A, C, D, B, A, A, H, J, A, H, F, M, B, A, M, D, L, C, B, B, B, H, E
"GLUE": D, E, A, B, D, I, B, E, G, D, D, E, D, D, E, K, A, B, D, A, H, B, B, B
"MAMA": A, M, A, C, D, B, E, M, E, K, L, E, M, H, M, M, C, F, E, B, D, H, B, D
"WA": D, M, C, M, I, A, I, C, D, L, H, E, H, M, B, M, D, C, E, D, A, B, E, E
"BOO": E, M, B, B, A, C, H, L, M, H, L, A, C, G, D, A, C, J, D, L, H, M, D, B
"DA": B, M, G, F, D, I, B, A, B, F, D, M, M, M, G, B, B, C, D, B, A, E, D, F
"AAHH": C, C, E, C, G, D, E, G, C, A, D, E, G, G, M, D, D, A, B, I, K, B, H, E
"NYOOM": D, L, F, H, K, G, D, A, A, D, M, L, B, L, L, B, B, G, D, L, D, A, L, B
"BLAH": E, D, I, B, D, B, C, G, M, G, D, A, D, D, B, D, H, B, E, B, M, B, B, M

Instruction Guide:

  1. press the top button.
  2. press the bottom button.
  3. press the top button if the last serial digit is odd; otherwise, the bottom button.
  4. press the bottom button if there are more ports than batteries; otherwise, the top button.
  5. press either button.
  6. press the button that was pressed first in the previous stage; if this is the first stage, press the top button.
  7. press the button you've pressed the least this stage so far; if it's a tie, press either button.
  8. press the bottom button if this instruction is in the first half of this row's instruction list; otherwise, the top button.
  9. press the top button if the seconds digit of the timer is currently even; otherwise, the bottom button.
  10. press the bottom button and ignore all further instructions from this row; instead, move to the row above and continue from the first instruction.
  11. press either button; if this is the first or second stage, ignore the last instruction of the next stage and instead press whichever button you didn't press here.
  12. press the top button if it has any matching letters with this stage's display word; otherwise, the bottom button.
  13. press the bottom button if it has any matching letters with the serial number; otherwise, the top button.