On the Subject of Coffeebucks

These millennials make some weird caffeinated combinations. On the plus side, this company pays its taxes...

  • The module consists of a staff noticeboard, a takeout coffee cup, a tip counter and a tablet.
  • To disarm the module, you must earn $10’s worth of tips. The faster and more accurately you serve, the greater your tip.
  • Press the ‘Next Customer’ button on the tablet to receive a customer and start the tip countdown (from $9.99).
  • The customer will tell you their name. Select it from the tablet to write it onto their takeaway cup.
  • You may ask the customer to repeat their name once. Doing so will reduce your potential tip by $2. Selecting an incorrect name will reduce your potential tip by $5.
  • The colour of the customer’s name will determine their quirk.
  • Serving a drink with an incorrect or more than one quirk selected will reduce your potential tip by $2.
  • Your minimum tip will always be $0.50, provided you serve a correct drink.
  • While the customer tells you their name, their four preferences will briefly flash sequentially on the tablet.
  • The customer will have four preferences: sugar requirements, time of day, stress-level and size.
  • There are four potential options for each preference. These are italicised in the flavour text of the menu.
  • If you don’t quite catch all of the customer’s preferences, you may press the preference buttons to re-show them.
  • However, the customer will not thank you for not paying attention; the first repeated preference press will decrease your potential tip by $0.50. Each subsequent press will double the penalty.
  • Serve the customer their preferred drink by pressing its name, remembering to enable their desired quirk if necessary.
  • The customer’s preferred drink will be the one which has the most characteristics in common with their preferences.
  • There may be more than one preferred drink for any given customer.
  • If you serve a correct drink, the remaining tip on the counter will be added to your tip total on the staff noticeboard.
  • If you serve an incorrect drink, the customer will leave without tipping and a strike will be incurred.

Quirk Table

Colour Quirk Colour Quirk
White No quirk Red Condensed milk only
Green Whipped cream with everything Pink Extra sprinkles
Blue Gluten-free ingredients

Coffeebucks Menu

  • TWIX FRAPPUCCINO Sugar content: diabetic-in-waiting
    A venti Caramel Frappuccino with a generous pump of caramel and hazelnut syrup, sprinkled with java chips and coated in caramel and mocha drizzle. The perfect morning drink for a calm start to your day.
  • THE BLUE DRINK Sugar content: just a bit
    This short Passion Iced Tea with vanilla syrup and soy milk is exactly what you need in the afternoon if you’re feeling a bit agitated.
  • MATCHA & ESPRESSO FUSION Sugar content: sugar is murder
    This tall mixture of matcha powder with water and ice, your choice of milk and two affogato shots is just right for those stressed out evenings.
    A grande concoction of soy caramel macchiato with vanilla and cinnamon syrup should hit the spot if you’re feeling particularly murderous. Great at lunchtime.
  • LIQUID COCAINE Sugar content: diabetic-in-waiting
    This grande monstrosity combines 4 shots of espresso and 4 pumps of white chocolate syrup; makes a lovely pick-me-up if you’re feeling a bit agitated on a nice summer evening.
  • S’MORES HOT CHOCOLATE Sugar content: loads
    A tall toffee and cinnamon hot chocolate, blended with cream, chocolate sauce, biscuit bits and marshmallows. Perfect for those mornings where you’re stressed to the eyeballs.
  • THE PINK DRINK Sugar content: just a bit
    A short Strawberry Açaí Refresher, with coconut milk and REAL strawberries and blackberries. Delicious on those calm afternoons.
  • GRASSHOPPER FRAPPUCCINO Sugar content: sugar is murder
    A venti Mocha Frappuccino with java chips and peppermint syrup. If you’re feeling a little murderous this lunchtime, look no further.