On the Subject of Cruel Candy Land

Candy Land: now with anagramming and mathematics required.

  • Play a game of Candy Land. Due to technical difficulties, the deck has some extra cards.
  • The card you draw appears on the left. The buttons and display on the right let you submit.
  • Submit the number of spaces you need to move based on the card you draw. You can press the screen to submit.
  • After you submit, another card will be drawn and you will need to move again.
  • The module will solve when you reach the end of the map.
  • When you strike, you go back to the starting square.

In Candy Land, you draw cards to move. Based on the card, you move forward until you reach a certain type of square. In this module, you’ll need to figure out what the cards mean using the manual.

start here O Y G Y R O P B G R Y R G O P Y B P O G B G P R Y B R P B Y

Appendix: Types of Cards

  • Candy Land - Either 1 or 2 colored squares.
  • Uno Card - A number or symbol with a colored background.
  • Cards Against Humanity - Text with a black or white background.
  • Codenames - Sideways text and a bomb icon.
  • Baseball Card - Art with some text overlaid on it.
  • Credit Card - Sideways numbers/text and a chip with a blue background.
  • Cardi B - Cardi B

Candy Land

The card will have either one or two squares of a certain color. If there is one square, you move forward until you reach the first tile that matches that color. If there are two squares, you move forward until you reach the second tile that matches that color.


The card will have a number 0–9, a "+2", or a "Ø". Depending on what’s on the card, find the corresponding Candy Land card in the chart. Then, move down a certain amount of rows according to the color of the background, looping around if necessary. The card you land on is the direction you follow.

Symbol Candy Land card
0 two yellow squares
1 one orange square
2 two orange squares
3 two red squares
4 two purple squares
5 one purple square
6 two blue squares
7 one green square
8 one blue square
9 one yellow square
+2 two green squares
Ø one red square
Color Move down N times, where N is...
Red the number of batteries
Yellow the number of indicators
Green the number of ports
Blue the number of modules

Cards Against Humanity

Depending on the card’s color, the card’s text and the module that the card is referencing, you can determine what its corresponding Candy Land card is.

The card is a reference to a vanilla module

Card has 2 Os and 2 Ps Card doesn’t have 2 Os and 2 Ps
White back one orange square one red square
Black back two yellow squares one purple square

The card is a reference to a modded needy module

Card has 2 Os and 2 Ps Card doesn’t have 2 Os and 2 Ps
White back two red squares one blue square
Black back two blue squares one green square

The card is a reference to a modded module

Card has 2 Os and 2 Ps Card doesn’t have 2 Os and 2 Ps
White back one yellow square two orange squares
Black back two green squares two purple squares


The card will have an anagrammed word on it where the first and last letter are correct. Unscramble it. There will be one clue that applies to it. Based on the clue, determine what the corresponding Candy Land card is.

Clue Card
Maze 1 red
Recursion 1 orange
Physics 1 yellow
Colonization 1 green
Unusual 1 blue
Board Game 1 purple
Clue Card
Retro 2 red
Automation 2 orange
Magic 2 yellow
Food 2 green
Bombs 2 blue
Jam 2 purple

Baseball Card

The card has a player name on it and a picture of either a batter or a pitcher. If they’re a batter (holding the bat), the corresponding Candy Land card has one square. If they’re a pitcher (holding the ball), the corresponding Candy Land card has two squares.

The first name determines the initial color of the corresponding Candy Land card, and the last name moves that color forward or backward on the color wheel (Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, and Purple) wrapping around if necessary.

First Name Initial Color
John Purple
Jon Orange
Joan Red
Sean Red
Shaun Green
Shawn Blue
Aaron Orange
Arin Yellow
Erin Green
Dawn Yellow
Don Blue
Dante Purple
Parker Red
Wyatt Orange
PolkaDot Yellow
Chorby Green
Tillman Blue
Jaylen Purple
Last Name Modifier
Wallace None
Wallis 3 forward
Sanford 2 forward
Sandford 3 forward
Gray 1 forward
Grey 2 backward
Chamberland 1 forward
Chamberlain 1 backward
Cosby 1 backward
Crosby 2 forward
Farris None
Ferris 2 backward
McMillan None
Mason 1 forward
Patterson 2 forward
Soul 3 forward
Henderson 2 backward
Hotdogfingers 1 backward

Credit Card

Hey kiddo! John Wick is stuck in a room with a bomb, and to save him, you’re gonna have to use your credit card information. That credit card you’ve got there has twelve digits, a date in MM/YYYY format, and the name of the bank. Based on the name of the bank, you gotta do some math on those twelve wacky numbers:

Bank Name Operation
Bank of KTaNE Add 1 to every even digit.
Bomb Corp. Subtract each digit from 9.
KaboomCard Subtract 1 from every odd digit.
Simon, Bob & Co. Replace every 0 or 6 with the digit before it (if this is the first digit, make it a 1).

After doing that, add all of the digits and modulo by 6 to get the color of the Candy Land card (0 becomes Red, 1 becomes Orange, continuing in rainbow order).

Don’t worry, that’s all the math you gotta do now. Last but not least, if the card is expired (the expiration date is before the date that the card was generated), the card should have one square. Otherwise, it should have two.

And make sure not to tell your parents!

Cardi B

Cardi B

(Find the image in the table below to get the Candy Land card’s color. If the image is exactly the same as it is in the table, the card has one square. However, if it is flipped horizontally, the card has two squares.)

Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple