On the Subject of Cruel Pip-Nado

I woke up to a different world of NATO alphabet. I don't remember- Wait... Who am I?

To calculate offset:

  • Concatenate first and last digits of serial number.
  • If even, divide by 2, otherwise, multiply by two.
  • Multiply this value by indicators + ports + port plates, unless it's 0, then do nothing.
  • If first serial number letter (A0Z25) is greater than sum of serial number digits, add number of vowels, otherwise add number of consonants.
  • Modulo 100.

To calculate the input:

  • Press the top hat, and concatenate the three shown digits. This is your inital number.
  • Determine what word is being shown in NATO. (by observing the first letters of the cycling words)
  • Multiply the initial number by first letter of first word (A0Z25), unless it's 0, then do nothing.
  • Add this number to each value from each flashing word in the table below, then modulo 1000.
  • If serial number contains I, P, or Y, reverse your number.
  • Submit.

Regular NATO and Pip-Nado Alphabet

AlphaAlpha5NovemberNostril7
BravoBeta4OscarOctopuuus9
CharlieCrab4PapaPoggers7
DeltaD---4QuebecQuack!6
EchoEcho4RomeoRonald Reagan14
FoxtrotF---4SierraSunscreen9
GolfGlubbers_9TangoTerraforming12
HotelHotel5UniformUmbrella8
IndiaIgloo5VictorVi-o-lin8
JulietJ1WhiskeyWisconsin9
KiloKilogram8X-RayXbox4
LimaLemon5YankeeYEET4
MikeMargherita10ZuluZuckerburg10