On the Subject of Cruel Simpleton

Pop quiz, how long’s it take to push a button? BAAAAAM! Sorry... time’s up. You’re dead!

Wanna solve the module? You just press the button. Or do you? Figure out what to do by following the rules below.

  1. If the serial number contains four numbers and two letters, modulo the last letter’s alphabetical position (A=1, B=2, etc.) by 5. Submit this number using Black Hole input via the button.
  2. Otherwise, if there is a lit BOB indicator, spell out “BOB” in Morse Code using the status light to call Bob to come solve the module for you.
  3. Otherwise, if there is a Parallel port and Serial port on the same port plate, submit the first character in the serial number in Morse Code using the status light to solve the module.
  4. Otherwise, if there are 4 batteries in 2 holders, hold the button for 7–9 seconds of real time and then release to solve the module.
  5. Otherwise, if there is a Simpleton module present, mash the Cruel Simpleton’s button 10 times to solve it.

    Note: Stopping the mashing before it solves for more than 2 seconds of real time WILL strike you and reset your button presses.
  6. Otherwise, if the number of strikes is greater than 0, tap the region of the module corresponding to the number of strikes. If the number of strikes is greater than 2, press section 3.
  7. Otherwise, if the number of modules on the bomb is prime, modulo each individual digit of that number by 5. Tap the specific regions of the module in that order to solve the module. (If the result is 0, use 4).
  8. Otherwise, if the number of modules on the bomb is prime, modulo each individual digit by 5. Tap the specific regions of the module in that order to solve the module. (If the result is 0, use 4)
  9. Otherwise, press the button whenever to solve the module. Lame…

HOWEVER, if there are 2 batteries in 2 holders, 2 indicators, a DVI, RJ-45, PS2, and RCA ports on the same port plate, and the serial number contains a “U”, CONGRATULATIONS! You will need to perform all of the rules in numbered order as if they were all true to solve the module. If you get to rule 7 with no strikes while doing this, press section 3.

Remember: Striking will reset any input you have put in for that rule’s submission. If the Unicorn Rule applies, you will not need to re-input previous stages.

Black Hole

0 2 1 3 4
  • In the above diagrams, a dot represents a tick of the bomb’s countdown timer (i.e., a change in the seconds value) going from left to right.
  • A vertical line represents a tap on the module. Make sure that you press and release the module between two ticks.
  • A bracket indicates holding the module across one or more ticks.

Cruel Simpleton Regions

PUSH IT! 1 2 3 4

Morse Code

Audio Clips

  • Dot (Morse Code)
  • Dash (Morse Code)
  • Break (Morse Code)
  • Clear Input (Morse Code)
  • Passed Stage (Unicorn)