On the Subject of Parliament

I've said it before and I'll say it again: democracy simply doesn't work.

This module consists of three screens and four buttons. Two of the screens list a bill title and a political party, and one lists an approval rating. The module is defused by supporting or opposing the correct bills, then determining the result of an election.

Defusing the module

  • Stage One: Determine whether to support or oppose the bill up for debate based on your political party.
    • First, check whether the legislation or the party meets certain special rules. Go down the list of Appendix P.1 ("The party line") and comply with the first rule that matches.
    • If no rule matches, consult Appendix P.2 ("Vote your conscience") and vote accordingly.
    • Repeat this step until all three square indicators to the right are lit in green.
  • Stage Two: It's election day. Determine whether the election will be run by a first-past-the-post (FPTP) or mixed-member proportional (MMP) system:
    • First, check how many lit indicators there are. Keep a note of whether there is an even or odd number of them. (Zero is an even number for the purpose of this step.)
    • Count how many vowels and consonants are in all indicators. (Use the serial number if there are no indicators.) If there are fewer than (number of consonants - 2) vowels, use MMP if there are an even number of lit indicators and FPTP if there are an odd number. If there are at least (number of consonants - 2) vowels:
      • If there were an odd number of lit indicators, use MMP if the current party is Socialist, LAN, Birthday or Conservative. Use FPTP otherwise.
      • If there were an even number of lit indicators, use FPTP if the current party is Liberal, Socialist or Communist. Use MMP otherwise.
  • Stage Three: The election is over. Determine whether you won or not.
    • If you used the MMP system, you won if your approval ratings are at least 40% and the current party isn't either Birthday or LAN. In all other circumstances, you lost.
    • If you used FPTP, you won if (number of batteries + number of ports) x 10 is greater than your approval rating. In all other circumstances, you lost.

This will defuse the module.


Appendix P.1: The party line

The party may have made a manifesto commitment. Vote based on that first.

If this rule matches: Vote this way:
Your approval rating is 17% or lower Support
The bill contains the word 'oppose' and the current party is Republican Support
The bill 'fund[s]' either 'healthcare' or 'vaccines' Support if the current party is:
  • Socialist
  • Liberal
  • Communist
  • Birthday
The bill refers to hats and there are more than two ports on the bomb Support if your approval rating is 51% or higher, and Oppose otherwise
The bill condemns something Support if:
  • Approval rating is higher than 60%, or
  • There are no ports on the bomb
Oppose otherwise
The bill contains the word cats Ignore the rest of Appendix P.1 and skip Appendix P.2; consult Appendix P.3, 'On the Subject of Cats', to determine how to vote.
The bill 'oppose[s]' or 'prevent[s]' something for 'waterfowl' Support. Ducks are not to be trusted.
The bill 'endorse[s]' freedom Support if there are more than two batteries on the bomb, and Oppose otherwise.

If none of the above rules apply, follow the instructions in Appendix P.2.

Appendix P.2: Vote your conscience

To calculate how to vote, first cross-check the action verb of the bill with the target per Table A. Then, apply the modifier in Table B. Finally, take the resulting letter and use Table C to determine how to vote.

Table A

Action verb:
Veterans Children Dogs Waterfowl Liberals
Prevent A B C D E
Promote F G H I J
Fund K L M N O
Endorse P Q R S T
Oppose U V W X Y

Table B

Add this modifier to the letter from Table A. A+1, for instance, becomes B, A+2 becomes C and so on. Letters wrap around; moving four from X, for instance, will go Y->Z->A->B. They also wrap backwards: B->A->Z->Y.

Object of bill:
Republican Democratic Conservative Liberal
Healthcare +2 +4 +6 +8
Support +1 +3 +5 +7
Hats +0 +2 +4 +6
Freedom -1 -3 -5 -7
Vaccines -3 +3 -2 +2
Rights +5 +0 +4 +1
Object of bill:
Socialist Communist Birthday Lan
Healthcare +1 +3 +5 +7
Support +2 +4 +6 +8
Hats +1 +3 +6 +4
Freedom +0 -3 -2 -4
Vaccines -1 -2 -1 -2
Rights +4 +3 +2 +1

Table C

Finally, use your modded letter and cross-reference it with the statement connected to it. If the statement is true, vote Support. If not, vote Oppose.

Letter group Support if...
A-E Always support
F-J The number of batteries on the bomb is equal to or greater than the number of ports
K-O Any of the letters in 'VOTE' appear in the serial number
P-T Never support
U-Z You opposed the previous bill

Appendix P.3: On the Subject of Cats

Check whether the following letters appear in the serial number. Use the first rule in the table.

Letter What to do
C Support
A Oppose
T Support if there are an even number of batteries, and Oppose otherwise
S Support
None of these letters appear Support if there are an even number of ports on the bomb, or if there are none. Oppose otherwise.