Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes Mod Parliament

On the Subject of Parliament

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: democracy simply doesn’t work.

This module consists of three screens and four buttons. Two of the screens list a bill title and a political party, and one lists an approval rating. The module is defused by supporting or opposing the correct bills, then determining the result of an election.

Defusing the module

  • Stage One: Determine whether to support or oppose the bill up for debate based on your political party.
    • First, check whether the legislation or the party meets certain special rules. Go down the list of Appendix P.1 (“The party line”) and comply with the first rule that matches.
    • If no rule matches, consult Appendix P.2 (“Vote your conscience”) and vote accordingly.
    • Repeat this step until all three square indicators to the right are lit in green.
  • Stage Two: It’s election day. Determine whether the election will be run by a first-past-the-post (FPTP) or mixed-member proportional (MMP) system:
    • First, check how many lit indicators there are. Keep a note of whether there is an even or odd number of them. (Zero is an even number for the purpose of this step.)
    • Count how many vowels and consonants are in all indicators. (Use the serial number if there are no indicators.) If there are fewer than (number of consonants - 2) vowels, use MMP if there are an even number of lit indicators and FPTP if there are an odd number. If there are at least (number of consonants - 2) vowels:
      • If there were an odd number of lit indicators, use MMP if the current party is Socialist, LAN, Birthday or Conservative. Use FPTP otherwise.
      • If there were an even number of lit indicators, use FPTP if the current party is Liberal, Socialist or Communist. Use MMP otherwise.
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  • Stage Three: The election is over. Determine whether you won or not.
    • If you used the MMP system, you won if your approval ratings are at least 40% and the current party isn’t either Birthday or LAN. In all other circumstances, you lost.
    • If you used FPTP, you won if (number of batteries + number of ports) x 10 is greater than your approval rating. In all other circumstances, you lost.

This will defuse the module.

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Appendices

Appendix P.1: The party line

The party may have made a manifesto commitment. Vote based on that first.

If this rule matches: Vote this way:
Your approval rating is 17% or lower Support
The bill contains the word ‘oppose’ and the current party is Republican Support
The bill ‘fund[s]’ either ‘healthcare’ or ‘vaccines’ Support if the current party is:
  • Socialist
  • Liberal
  • Communist
  • Birthday
The bill refers to hats and there are more than two ports on the bomb Support if your approval rating is 51% or higher, and Oppose otherwise
The bill condemns something Support if:
  • Approval rating is higher than 60%, or
  • There are no ports on the bomb
Oppose otherwise
The bill contains the word cats Ignore the rest of Appendix P.1 and skip Appendix P.2; consult Appendix P.3, ‘On the Subject of Cats’, to determine how to vote.
The bill ‘oppose[s]’ or ‘prevent[s]’ something for ‘waterfowl’ Support. Ducks are not to be trusted.
The bill ‘endorse[s]’ freedom Support if there are more than two batteries on the bomb, and Oppose otherwise.

If none of the above rules apply, follow the instructions in Appendix P.2.

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Appendix P.2: Vote your conscience

To calculate how to vote, first cross-check the action verb of the bill with the target per Table A. Then, apply the modifier in Table B. Finally, take the resulting letter and use Table C to determine how to vote.

Table A

Target:
---
Action verb:		 Veterans Children Dogs Waterfowl Liberals
Prevent A B C D E
Promote F G H I J
Fund K L M N O
Endorse P Q R S T
Oppose U V W X Y
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Table B

Add this modifier to the letter from Table A. A+1, for instance, becomes B, A+2 becomes C and so on. Letters wrap around; moving four from X, for instance, will go Y->Z->A->B. They also wrap backwards: B->A->Z->Y.

Party:
---
Object of bill:		 Republican Democratic Conservative Liberal
Healthcare +2 +4 +6 +8
Support +1 +3 +5 +7
Hats +0 +2 +4 +6
Freedom -1 -3 -5 -7
Vaccines -3 +3 -2 +2
Rights +5 +0 +4 +1
Party:
---
Object of bill:		 Socialist Communist Birthday Lan
Healthcare +1 +3 +5 +7
Support +2 +4 +6 +8
Hats +1 +3 +6 +4
Freedom +0 -3 -2 -4
Vaccines -1 -2 -1 -2
Rights +4 +3 +2 +1
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Table C

Finally, use your modded letter and cross-reference it with the statement connected to it. If the statement is true, vote Support. If not, vote Oppose.

Letter group Support if...
A–E Always support
F–J The number of batteries on the bomb is equal to or greater than the number of ports
K–O Any of the letters in ‘VOTE’ appear in the serial number
P–T Never support
U–Z You opposed the previous bill

Appendix P.3: On the Subject of Cats

Check whether the following letters appear in the serial number. Use the first rule in the table.

Letter What to do
C Support
A Oppose
T Support if there are an even number of batteries, and Oppose otherwise
S Support
None of these letters appear Support if there are an even number of ports on the bomb, or if there are none. Oppose otherwise.
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