On the Subject of Simon’s Satire

Simon has been forced to listen to you repeat some “K”razy phrases to your manual expert all day. He wants a turn.

In the display, there will be a box taking up a majority of the module, with one of many possible phrases contained within. Above, there will be four colored buttons that are red, blue, green, and yellow respectively. There are also left and right arrow buttons which can be used to see the rest of Simon’s phrase if the current phrase is too long for one screen.

After the defuser has successfully communicated the phrase to you, find the correct row in the table shown below. To determine which column & color to press, see the following rules;

1. If there are no modules on the bomb that are in the list of “Simon” or “Talk” modules below, use column 1 (See the lists below for a few unexpected modules that count.)
2. If there is at least one module on the bomb that is in the list of “Simon” modules below, use column 2.
3. If there is at least one module on the bomb that is in the list of “Talk” modules below, use column 3.
4. If there is at least one module on the bomb that is in the list of “Simon” modules below AND at least one module on the bomb that is in the list of “Talk” modules below, use column 4.

After you have given the correct input, a new phrase will be generated. Repeat the process two more times to disarm the module (note, you must re-input all prior inputs as you would with other Simon modules).

Simon is crafty, and will try to trick you. Do not trust anything he says. Always follow this manual and its instructions. He also plays dirty, and sometimes long phrases are particularly tough to distinguish. Look for subtle differences between phrases. Having the Camera Zoom mod is not required, but it may be useful in a few instances.

If a phrase has 1/X displaying in the top right corner, that means the phrase is longer than one page. For these phrases, you can use the arrow buttons to flip between pages to see the entire phrase. If there is no 1/X in the top right corner, then the entire phrase is displayed on one page.

Solving this module consists of 3 “phases”, each of which contains 1, 2, or 3 “stages” of color inputs. If the defuser gets a strike, the module will only reset you to the start of the current phase. This means all color inputs for that phase will need to be entered again.

List of modules that Simon’s Satire counts as a “Simon” Module: Color Decoding, Silenced Simon, Simon, Simon Forgets, Simon Literally Says, Simon Said, Simon Samples, Simon Says, Simon Scrambles, Simon Screams, Simon Selects, Simon Sends, Simon Shapes, Simon Shouts, Simon Shrieks, Simon Simons, Simon Sings, Simon Smiles, Simon Sounds, Simon Speaks, Simon Spins, Simon Squawks, Simon Stages, Simon Stashes, Simon States, Simon Stops, Simon Stores, Simon Stumbles, Simon Subdivides, Simon Supports, Simon Swindles, Simon’s on First, Simon’s Sequence, Simon’s Stages, Simon’s Star, Simon’s Ultimate Showdown, Simply Simon, Tasha Squeals.

List of modules that Simon’s Satire counts as a “Talk” Module: Arrow Talk, Bone Apple Tea, BoozleTalk, Colo(u)r Talk, Crazy Talk, Crazy Talk With a K, Flavor Text, Flavor Text EX, Insane Talk, Jaden Smith Talk, KayMazey Talk, Kilo Talk, Krazy Talk, N&Ms, Not Crazy Talk, Placeholder Talk, Quote Crazy Talk End Quote, Regular Crazy Talk, Simon’s on First, Standard Crazy Talk, Who’s on First.

If the row and column results in a special case, see Appendix “Not an Appendix”. If the text in the module is cyan colored, it is a special case.

Phrase Table

Special Case Table

See below for solutions.

Appendix “Not an appendix”:

Cases can only appear as the first visible phrase in Simon’s Satire. In all special cases (excluding case 6 option 2), remember which button you pressed as you carry on to the following stages of the module. If a special case tells you to press any color, you will need to repeat that same color in future stages. You only need to follow the special case logic when the associated phrase is visible, not when repeating the input in future phases.

Case 1: Press the green button when there is a 2 anywhere in the timer.

Case 2: If the indicators on the bomb, lit or unlit, share at least three unique letters in common total with the phrase “CHAIN DESTRUCTION”, press green. If the indicators do not satisfy this condition, press red. For example: BOB + MSA works, because they share the letters O, S, and A with “CHAIN DESTRUCTION”.

Case 3: If you have a port plate with two or more ports on it (duplicates count), press green. Otherwise, if you have a port plate with exactly one port on it, press blue. Otherwise, if you have an empty port plate, press yellow. Otherwise, if you have no port plates on the bomb at all, press red.

Case 4: If there are any of the following modules on the bomb, press red. Otherwise, press blue.
Modules: 3D Maze, A-maze-ing Buttons, Blind Maze, Boolean Maze, The Colored Maze, Cruel Boolean Maze, Faulty RGB Maze, The Labyrinth, Maze Cubed, Mazematics, Maze Scrambler, Module Maze, Morse-a-Maze, Polyhedral Maze, Red Arrows, RGB Maze, (Vanilla) Maze.

Case 5: If the serial number shares a letter with the word “EXODIA”, press either yellow, green, or red. If it does not share a letter, press blue any time the seconds digits in the bomb’s timer reads :00, or at any time if less than one minute remains.

Case 6: If you have exactly five solved modules on the bomb, you may press any color at any time. If you do not have exactly five solved modules on the bomb, you must press all 4 buttons 5 times each from left to right, while the bomb’s timer reads XX:5X. In other words, press Red 5x, Blue 5x, Green 5x, and Yellow 5x when the seconds on the bomb’s timer are between 50 and 59 seconds. The module will immediately complete if the second option is taken.

Case 7: If the serial number shares a letter with the word “CROOK”, press red. Otherwise, press blue.

Case 8: If you are watching Judge Judy while disarming the bomb, press yellow, otherwise, press yellow if it’s the first Sunday in May, otherwise press yellow if this sentence does not contain the word “yellow”, otherwise, press yellow.

Case 9: If the combined letters of all indicators on the bomb (lit or unlit) share a letter with all 3 of the words “SPANISH”, “FRENCH”, and “JAPANESE”, press green. Otherwise, press red. Example, TRN by itself would work, because N is in all three of those words. MSA plus BOB would not work, because neither of these indicators share a letter with “FRENCH”.

Case 10: As the Magic Conch stated, you must do nothing to solve this module. When you have solved all other modules, Simon’s Satire will auto complete. You may also press the blue button when the last second of the bomb’s timer reads "0", in case you wish to solve Simon’s Satire earlier.