On the Subject of The Square Button

This may look like the button you know and love, but don't be fooled! It's a brilliantly disguised imposter foiled only by a single mistake: It's the wrong shape.

Follow these rules in the order they are listed. Perform the first action that applies:
  1. If the button is blue and the number of AA batteries is larger than the number of D batteries, hold the button and refer to "Releasing a Held Button".
  2. If the button is yellow or blue and has as at least as many letters on the label as the highest number in the serial, press and immediately release.
  3. If the button is yellow or blue and the label states a colour, hold the button and refer to "Releasing a Held Button".
  4. If the button has no label, press and immediately release when the two seconds digits on the timer match.
  5. If the button is not dark grey and the number of letters on the label is larger than the number of lit indicators, press and immediately release.
  6. If there are at least 2 unlit indicators and the serial contains a vowel, press and immediately release.
  7. If no other rule applies, hold the button and refer to "Releasing a Held Button".

Releasing a Held Button

If you start holding the button down, a coloured LED will light up on the right side of the button case. Based on its colour, follow the rules below:
  • Cyan: Release when the two seconds digits add up to 7.
  • Orange: Release when the two seconds digits add up to 3 or 13.
  • Other: Release when the two seconds digits add up to 5.
If the LED is flickering, follow these rules instead:
  • Cyan: Release when the number of seconds remaining is a multiple of 7.
  • Orange: Release when the number of seconds displayed is either prime or 0.
  • Other: Release one second after the two seconds digits add up to a multiple of 4.