On the Subject of The Calculator
For once the bomb makers decided to throw you a bone...
 Take the sum of each character in the serial number, with letters being their alphanumerical position plus nine.
 Input the number onto the calculator and then press solve.

Other features that The Calculator includes are:
 Perform any basic arithmetic operation.
 Square any number and take the square root of any number.
 Take the digital root of any number.
 Modulo any number.
 Assign up to three variables.
 Use the ANS button to finalize any operation, the C button to clear any input, and the D button to delete the last input.