On the Subject of The Console

*The screeching of the robot cat (AKA Dial-Up Internet) intensifies*

This module has no visible status light and a black screen. This module can only be interacted with via typing on your keyboard when you've selected the module.

The behavior of this module is very similar to that of a text-based adventure game. There are certain commands which can be entered to interact with elements. The syntax for this module is strict, and there's no indication when you've typed an invalid command.

The module has 1 enemy, 1 hero, and 1 location each with statistics, and also 10 items and 5 weapons which each have rules which determine whether you use it or not. Note that the statistics values might not be within the normal range and values of N/A, ∞ and -∞ may appear*.

To solve the module, use all the valid items, then use the weapon with the highest score value. If an incorrect item or weapon is used, or you attempt to use a weapon too early, the module will strike.

Valid syntax

view enemy	To view all of the enemy's stats
view hero	To view all of the hero's stats
view location	To view all of the location's stats
view items	To view all of the available items
view weapons	To view all of the available weapons
use item [L]	Use the item next to the letter [L] on the item page
use weapon [L]	Use the weapon next to the letter [L] on the weapon page

*For deciding which items and weapons to use, if N/A, ∞ or -∞ are present in the stats, convert them accordingly using the table below.

N/A	0.0000000000118428
∞	8164259999999999
-∞	-8164259999999999

Enemy Stats

INT	Intelligence in Intelligence Quotient (IQ)
PWR	Power in Newtons (N)
DEF	Defense in Mohs hardness (Mohs)
MBL	Mobility in meters per second squared (m/s²)
HP	Health in Blood Alcohol Concentration (BAC)
STL	Stealth in Lumens (lm)

Hero Stats

HGT	Height in Meters (m)
WGT	Weight in Kilograms (kg)
AGE	Age in years (y)
LDN	Loudness in decibels (db)
RDA	Radioactivity in millisieverts (mSv)
ORG	Origin in latitude and longitude (°, °)

Location Stats

TMP	Temperature in Celsius (°C)
HUM	Humidity in Relative Humidity (RH)
PSI	Pressure in kilopascals (kPa)
WND	Wind in degrees and kilometers per second squared (° & km/s²)
PRC	Precipitation in centimeters (cm)
ALT	Altitude in meters (m)

Item rules

You must use the item if the condition next to the item is true. If it's not true, do not use the item.

2 of Spades	If the location's PSI is exactly 0
3D Glasses	If the enemy's STL is less than 100
Bald Eagle	If the hero's ORG is located in the United States (Latitude between 25 and 45, Longitude between -19 and -37)
Bike Pump	If the location's PSI is less than 15
Breathalyzer	If the enemy's HP is at least .06
Dehumidifier	If the location's HUM is greater than 40%
Dumbbell	If the hero's WGT is less than 70
Dunce Cap	If the enemy's INT is less than 70
Eggalyzer	If the enemy's STL is between 200 and 10,000
Elmo	If the enemy's INT is less than 100 and greater than 50
Fan	If the location's WND has a kilometers per second of less than 20
Geiger Counter	If the hero's RDA is greater than 15
Hand Warmers	If the location's TMP is greater than 38
Megaphone	If the hero's LDN is less than 80
Power Glove	If the enemy's DEF is greater than 6
Quantum Crack	If the hero's AGE is less than 18 and the hero's WGT is more than 203
Server Mute	If the hero's LDN is more than 80
Springboard	If the location's ALT is less than 100
Stepstool	If the hero's HGT is less than 2
Stop Sign	If the enemy's PWR is less than 500
Stun Gun	If the enemy's MBL is greater than 6

continued on the next page...

Sunglasses	If the enemy's STL is greater than 10,000
Tickets to Robin's Superhero Movie	If the location's WND direction is divisible by 45
Time Machine	If the hero's AGE is less than 18 or greater than 100
Umbrella	If the location's PRC is greater than 75

Weapon scores

You must use the weapon which has the largest score next to it.

Anonymous Monsplode	Hero's ORG Latitude + Hero's ORG Longitude
Argonian Dictionary	10 * every vowel in the Location's Name
Bed	Enemy's HP * 100
Bunni	TMP + HUM + PSI + WND speed + WND direction + PRC + ALT (All location stats)
Creep	89 if Enemy's STL is less than 10; 121 if STL is over 1000
DISTRACT	Hero's AGE * Hero's HGT
Firey Fist O' Pain	100 - Location's TMP
Giant Enemy Bugspray	69 if Enemy's name contains "Spider"
Gun Sand	5 * every letter in the Enemy's Name
Laughter	Add 50 for each that is present: "stick bug lol" (enemy), "HOW" (hero), "place go brrr" (location)
Lizard	67 if Hero's RDA is over 99; add 54 if the Hero's ORG Longitude is negative
Market Gardener	Location's WND speed + 2
Markscript	7 * every character in the Hero's Name
Mine Turtle	HGT + WGT + AGE + LDN + RDA (All hero stats)

Continued on next page...

Mrgrt Thtchr	Hero's AGE - 87
Paper	61 if Enemy's DEF is 3 or less; add 65 if Location's TMP is over 10
Pineapple	Location's ALT - Location's HUM
Rock	85 if Hero's WGT is less than 1; add 31 if Location's ALT is negative
Sand gun	25 * every space in the Enemy's Name
Scissors	21 if Hero's LDN is 70 or higher; add 99 if Enemy's HP is 0.1 or higher
Spock	47 if Hero's WGT is under 60; add 81 if Location's ORG Latitude negative
T-Posing Godzilla	Hero's HGT * 10
Trumpet	Enemy's DEF * 25
Tylerwon	INT + PWR + DEF + MBL + HP + STL (All enemy stats)
Water Staff Thing	Location's PRC